First, if you aren't familar with KetoChow or Low Carb High Fat/Ketosis diets then start with this post for an intro to why they work so well. Now, on to the excitement...
I’ve been making 4 bottles of KetoChow every night for a month (2 for me and 2 for Mary). If you are a big fan of math, then you can pretty quickly calculate that 4 bottles a night times 30 nights is probably equal to at least a thousand bottles . Maybe my post about the glory and praise that KetoChow has brought to my life with a low carb high fat diet convinced you to pull the trigger and get some for yourself. Wise choice, friend. You are looking more handsome/beautiful already. Since you are about to be so busy being good looking, you may want to consider optimizing your process for KetoChow prep so that you can spend more of your time doing whatever it is that goddamn stunning individuals like yourself spend time doing. tl;dr you really need the pump bottle, maybe you will be ok without the other stuff, but don’t you dare shun the pump bottle
Beyond just the KetoChow Powder, here are a few additional ingredients that I use in support to make sure I get all those glorious nutrients:
Viva Labs MCT Oil - To make proper KetoChow you add oil, cream, and water. I don’t care where you get your water from , but the maker of KetoChow (Chris Bairs) recommends this fancy oil full of medium-chain triglycerides which, lets face it, no one has ever heard of. But HAD someone heard of MCTs they would probably say that MCT Oil is ideal for KetoChow since it is tasteless, odorless, supports weight management, and MCTs are a rapidly utilized source of energy. I’m a big fan and would definitely recommend this as an oil of choice for all your KetoChow-ing needs
Trader Joes Whipping Cream - The next step is either heavy or whipping cream and Trader Joes seems like as good a place as any for that. It costs about $2.19 a pint? Thanks TJs. Also good is whatever cream you can find. That one. Yes. That one
Daily Multi Vitamins - You need to take a daily multi vitamin on this diet. These are the ones that Chris  recommends and who am I to disagree? When you order KetoChow it actually comes with some of these pills, but if you order this bottle it is hilariously large and includes 500 pills, so I say get the bottle
Kirkland 1200 mg Fish Oil pills - Here is where I disagree with Chris. There are cheaper fish oil pills out there, but these ones have more Omega 3s per pill and a nice enteric coating on them . Instead of popping 5 fish oil pills per night with the cheap ones these can get you down to alternating 2 or 3. That isn’t even an exaggeration this time. FIVE PILLS.
Nuun Tablets - Turns out that Nuun tablets are for more than just hangovers, they are also great for beating “ketoflu”. If you ever feel tired, odd, excessively emotional… well, really if you have any feelings at all at any moment while on this diet then I recommend a Nuun tablet and it will probably fix you right up.
And don’t forget about the accessories!
Kitchen Scale That Looks Like A Smart Phone - The easiest way to mix up shakes is using a scale for measuring. I put 50 grams of powder and 50 grams of cream. This scale is pretty quick, accurate, sexy, and cheap. I think those are all positive adjectives so you should get it if you don’t already have a kitchen scale. It is also big enough to hold more than one blender bottle at once for added ease. I like me some ease
This Handsome Pump Bottle or This Quaint Pump Bottle - Hands down the number one thing you need for KetoChow. You can ignore everything else if you really want to prove to the world how hard you are , but you can’t ignore the pump bottle. Again, this idea is from Chris. Fill it with the MCT Oil and then count out the number of squirts you need to get enough oil for the recipe. Boom. Never deal with messy oil or measuring spoons again. I use the Crate and Barrel one (12 squirts required with that one) but was tempted by that ridiculous little mason jar guy. Ignore the squirt bottle at your own grave peril
Blender Bottles - I was going to skip these even though Chris advises that you use them. That would have been dumb. They really do work and make the process substantially more convenient. I even have a small sized one if I want to make things extra portable
If you want a peak into the thrilling world of making KetoChow here is how it goes. Special thanks to Nis Sarup in the comments who persuaded me to switch my order to avoid powder sticking to the bottom.
- Squirt 12 squirts of MCT oil from the pump bottle into each blender bottle. Feel pretty damn good about that pump bottle. What a great idea that things was
- Tare the scale and then add 50 grams of cream to each blender bottle. DEFINITELY screw that up… now I’ve got like 10 extra grams of cream because I wasn’t paying attention. Still good
- Tare back to zero and it is like those mistakes never happened
- Fill each bottle with 50 grams of ketochow… probably actually put in like 56. Say "close enough" to yourself or whoever else might be around
- Add some water up to about the half-way full
- Close and shake everything up like you are a mixologist wearing a waistcoat in a dark bar
- Leave the bottles hanging out for a few minutes to let everything mix up. Live life. Dare to dream
- Shake again and then fill the bottles the rest of the way up. Shake final time then pop them in the fridge.
Shocking. I know. The next morning breakfast is waiting for me and life is good. Lunch? No problem, got that too. Dinner? Hold yourself sailor, that would be three meals and I’m not sure I’m ready to hang with the big boys yet.
Math is so easy ↩
Perhaps a Brita or some other filter would be pleasant? Treat yourself, you deserve it ↩
The maker of Ketochow. I feel like he wouldn’t mind me calling him Chris, right? ↩
Either you take fish oil pills and know about fish oil burps or you don’t care about enteric coatings. Those are the only two options ↩
still not actually what they are intended for… oh well ↩
You don’t ↩