Here is some new music that you will probably hate, so I’ll keep this short. Really, the words I’m going to write here are just going to be dumb words. I suggest you just click play on the playlist below then go on with your life for a bit. Once you have an opinion you can come back all like “let’s see what stupid words this internet guy wrote about those songs I just heard.”
Alright, so what the hell was all that?
Of Monsters and Men - Crystals
This song is here because ever since we first heard it, the lady and I have had it stuck in our heads for months. “You humming that Of Monsters and Men song again!? I know you are!” “I am. It’s true. There is no escape”
Welcome to life in my home.
The new Of Monsters and Men album drops June 9th . This song has been around for a few months though. Maybe you have already heard it a million times  or maybe you have heard the OLD album a million times. I just wanted to share this little sliver of pop addictiveness as a JIC.
HOLYCHILD - Running Behind
When I saw the Apple Watch launch video I was more excited about this song than the watch itself. I’m spending my time writing about new pop music, do you think that I can afford an Apple Watch right now? . But HOLYCHILD has a mix of embarrassingly enjoyable pop, with unique production, and some in-your-face gender equality themes all mixed in.
Oh god, am I writing about music? Next I’m going to say things like “soaring soundscapes” and “aggressive rhythms” and oh my god the self loathing is getting so thick I can’t even see anymore. What have I become?
What I meant to say is that this song is NICE. Enjoy it, but NEVER SPEAK OF IT.
Anyway, this album was released a few days ago, so you can actually get it or just this song on iTunes
Alessia - Here
What the hell is this little gem? I don’t know. No one seems to know. You? You DEFINITELY don’t know. Alessia just popped up out of nowhere (by which I mean Ontario) and here is a great song. I mean, it has sounds and lyrics and singing and you are about to love it, so why not.
Also, apparently Ontario is not remote enough for Apple because this song is also available on iTunes
In conclusion, if you hated all of that then I guess I have failed you. All that I can offer is a reminder that Ratatat has a new album coming. They are hoarding all the songs and keeping them off sound cloud but the video for Cream on Chrome is pretty much perfect so why not a youtube link.
By “released June 9th” I of course mean that is already leaked and you can find it today if you are that type of person ↩
Honestly, the only chance I have to hear proper radio is in cabs… or Ubers I guess… probably more Ubers. You know, the cool Ubers where they play top 40 HITS ↩
Can you tell that I am enjoying these little “get it on iTunes badges”? They kind of make me feel like I actually know what I’m doing here… but then simultaneously suggest that I am totally detached from reality because I think people actually buy music. Don’t worry. I don’t think that. I just thought you might want to click it to learn more about the album before you stream it on Spotify, Pandora, or whatever ↩
Spoiler alert - No. No I cannot ↩
And if you do, I don’t want to hear about it ↩