Does this need a write up? I think the world might already be reaching a point where we are safe from the tyranny of the black suit. Well… ok maybe just a short write up. This will be the easiest post I ever write:
Don’t buy a black suit.
That is a commandment. Those are just the rules. If you ever actually need a black suit, you will know when you are allowed to neglect that commandment. To be crystal clear: here are the only times when you should buy or wear a black suit:
- You are going to a funeral and you already own a black suit. Note that dark gray and navy are totally acceptable here. This is not a reason to buy a black suit, just to wear one if you own one
- You want an evening suit and you already own four other suits. Probably light gray, dark gray, navy, and maybe a pinstripe. Your first two suits are absolutely gray and navy though. You understand that you will not wear this black suit during the day but you are pretty fancy and have a need for evening suits so CHILL OUT INTERNET MAN
- You work at like a hotel, funeral home, or somewhere that forces you to wear a black suit 
- You are in Asia 
That is the end. Otherwise you don’t buy or wear a black suit. You just don’t. Most people wearing black suits have them because they didn’t know any better and now they are stuck with this stupid black suit .
This is a great example of the challenges faced by retailers. Suit Supply handles it well . They don’t offer a black suit. You just can’t buy one from Suit Supply. So many men think black suits are a great idea when they are actually the worst idea. Retailers have to decide: will we offer what our customers want even though they will likely regret buying it or will we offer what is good for our customers even though we may lose some? If you really need a black suit, Suit Supply will let you custom order it. They will also vet your decision to make sure you aren’t doing something that will lead to mega-internet-regret. They also offer evening formal wear (e.g. tuxedos) if that is your particular need. I really respect them for this and it makes me feel like I can trust the rest of their products.
Really? That isn’t enough? You really need some reasons why you can’t wear a black suit? Fine. Here are a few of the many:
- Black doesn’t look good in daylight, it is just too harsh of a color
- It is very hard to match anything with a black suit. Definitely don’t be the guy who wears a black shirt with a black suit. That is like outfit shopping at Toys-R-Us 
- Black suits are heavily associated with funeral directors and hotel staff. Don’t wear their uniform unless you want people to confuse you for a funeral director or hotel staff
- There is a massive stigma out there against black suits that you will be fighting. People write entire articles on the internet about why you shouldn’t do it. Most of the world will think you just don’t understand what you are doing and they will probably be right 
Now is my final confession: when I was young and stupid I bought a black suit. I’m propagating photographic evidence of my own foolishness in hopes that it spares someone else pain. Don’t repeat my mistakes
Notice that uppercutting a bear isn’t on the list. I know. I was surprised too. But I’ll take this time to admit my mistakes. I am sorry internet ↩
Please don’t let this post get you fired from your funeral home gig ↩
I don’t make the rules man. Something about how dress is super formal there, people tend to work and then go out late afterwards so you are basically wearing the suit all night anyway, and black looking better on certain skin tones ↩
I am so, deeply, ashamed ↩
On the other hand, their most recent photo campaign is bat shit crazy ↩
Am I supposed to write the R backwards? TRU is so hood ↩
Really excellent and tasteful ones, thanks for noticing ↩
The odds that you are so skilled in mens fashion that you can correctly wear a black suit are approaching zero ↩