I wish everything was delightful. Maybe that is naive. Maybe in a world where every last thing was delightful, delight receptors would overload and everyone would suffer horrible side effects. But we are safe for now because almost every product review has a “cons” section, otherwise excellent things tend to come with a “but…”, even some of the little slices of wonder that I’ve written about on this site don’t always bring their A games . That said, the point of this site isn’t compromise, it isn’t to tell you about average crap that you already know about, the whole reason I spend all this time yelling into my computer  is to share just ridiculously amazing things to make your life better .
Here is an example that I didn’t see coming: workout shorts. Specifically, Lululemon’s T.H.E. Short 9"($58). I keep trying to think of a way not to say “these shorts are perfect” because they are shorts, that sounds ridiculous, and a statement like that is basically like slam dunking my last sliver of credibility in a dumpster. But…. ahhhhhhhhh…. I can’t help it: these shorts are perfect.
I get it, we aren’t on the same page yet, let’s talk about design for a second. IANAD  but smarter people have told me that product design involves making the hard decisions on what to add and what to subtract until all that is left is the ideal final product.
These shorts are the ideal final product. For most guys, the initial workout shorts product starts at mesh shorts from like 2002 or holy crap how old are your shorts honestly. I’ll start with what Lululemon’s designers added:
- Side Zipper Pocket - You can stop here. This zipper pocket is amazing. Never worry about your phone falling out of your pocket again. Better yet, this pocket is snuggly located in some magical spot on the side of the shorts so you can run with a phone in your pocket and not have it bounce all over the place. This is the bleeding edge of mankind’s pocket technology
- Additional pockets - Just because… why not, man. Maybe you have other crap you want in your pockets? Cool. These pockets have you covered. You can put your hands in them too if you are feeling really self-conscious or emo. Oh and they still fit slim so your wallet isn’t flying all over the place like in your stupid old ugly stupid mesh shorts. So stupid
- Slim fit - These pants make you look excellent. Looking excellent is probably most of why you would work out anyway. So… uh… get these damn shorts
- Swift Ultra fabric - Fast drying, light weight, sweat-wicking, durable, multi-direction stretch, AND a ridiculous name. These won’t weigh you down when you are running and are still tough enough for baking plates in the weight room. Why were old workout shorts mesh anyway? Mesh is beat
- Luxtreme stretch waist band - Oh you thought “Swift Ultra” was a ridiculous name for a fabric, say hello to LUXTREME. I don’t care what it is called though, the waist band stays snuggly in place like no other shorts I’ve ever felt, but never feels anything short of comfortable. I’m super into this waist band and that is pretty weird thing to say
- Three lengths - Terrified of your knee caps? Cool you can buy T.H.E. 11" shorts. Think your thighs are dope? Check out T.H.E. 7" shorts. Want the 9" version? Then scroll up, I’m sick of posting links
The list of things removed is shorter: Liners and Mesh. I would call liners in shorts a preference thing, but it is a preference that I can’t understand and it is being forced on society by 90% of the shorts you find in stores from other brands. If you want some weird diaper sensation in your work out shorts then Lululemon has other pairs.
Oh, they also ditched mesh. FOH mesh.
So that is the logical appeal. These shorts are beautifully designed and I love that can’t think of a single complaint or opportunity for improvement. How about the emotional appeal: I honestly love wearing these shorts. Isn’t that important? Ever have one of those days where you just feel lazy and working out seems hard? On those days, every tiny bit of motivation can stack up to help make the difference between sitting on the couch or getting out there. Stupid mesh shorts aren’t going to motivate you to work out. But maybe there will be a day where excellent looking shorts, legit pocket technology, or… I don’t know… maybe the name Luxtreme will nudge the needle enough to get you moving.
In the end, Lululemon has made a delightful pair of shorts . Surround yourself with delight.
Bushy eyebrows. Boom. Suddenly your eyebrows are just way bushy. Damn. Not so great now is it ↩
I’m looking at you fancy clear pen that always has ink smudges visible inside the cap, Uniqlo underwear that keeps going out of stock, or you Tokyo with your being all far away and expensive to get to ↩
Yelling via the… keyboard… I guess… whatever, I’m definitely super pumped up whenever I’m writing here ↩
You get that sweater shaver yet? That shit gooooooooooooooooooooos ↩
See usually people write IANAL as an abbreviation for I Am Not A Lawyer and I’m super crafty because I just changed the L to D to suit my needs for not being a designer and now instead of an extremely gross looking abbreviation, this abbreviation breaks up as I A NAD… which is just moderately offensive I guess. I don’t really think of myself as a nad… ↩
A friend had his iPhone drop out of his old stupid mesh shorts’ pocket directly into a toilet a few weeks before the new iPhone launched. Man, pocket technology is so important. Inferior pocket technology cost him hundreds of dollars ↩
Writing is hard. Boo hoo for me ↩
Or I guess if you are wearing a diaper while working out then woah dude you are way more hardcore than I am ↩
Because they are stupid ↩
Am I shill for Lululemon now? How did this happen? ↩