Enough beating around the bush, friends, it has been way too long since I’ve posted anything pillow related. I’m sorry, you are sorry, everyone is sorry. Luckily the pillow drought ends today because I want to get all yell-y and over opinionated about the best products glorious capitalism can offer for sleeping while traveling . What the hell were we talking about? I got distracted by that footnote. Pro-tip, that little oval with a number 1 in it is a foot note and you can tap it if somehow you feel like you aren’t getting enough commentary in the main text.
Right-o! Do I need a motivation section? Have you ever travelled? Did sleep seem like a cool thing to do during the travel? I don’t know, maybe you had a red eye, a cross continental flight, a road trip, a subway death wish… Seriously, this motivation section is a waste of everyone’s time. If you have never wanted to sleep while traveling, then that is almost more surprising than the fact that you are reading a post about gear for sleeping while traveling. Do you aspire to want to sleep while traveling? Wrong. That is not something people aspire to. Your aspirations now are… let’s say drop 10 lbs and learn to play a musical instrument. Great, everyone is aligned, on to the stuff. You are going to want four things for primo sleep happenings: ear plugs, an eye mask, a pillow, are sweet sweet drugs.
Honestly, you are probably just going to use whatever random pair of earplugs they give you on the plane or some that you happen to have laying around. I mean, those options obviously suck, but I just don’t see many people being persuaded to put even the slightest bit of effort into earplugs. I would rather spend my effort here on just convincing people to actually try using earplugs. Try them! They make sound less loud and you will sleep better. Wow!
But I don’t know, you people seem unusually interested in pillows so maybe you want that earplug hotness. Well, this is that: Raidans Custom Earplugs Custom molded ear plugs will not fall out of your ears and block sound and are blue. They cost less than $10 which is more than the free pair Jet Blue gives you but less than… well anything that costs more than $10. Whatever man, I’m not going to fight over this. Just be a gem and try some ear plugs.
Oh hell yes, now we are talking. No surprise, but if you want to actually fall and stay asleep you need to block out sound and light. Wow. What an informative website. You are welcome.
I’ve tried eye mask after eye mask and finally I can offer you the best of the best. I’ve tried expensive memory foam or silk eye masks, cheap branded eye masks, eye masks that I don’t really have adjectives to describe… a lot of eye masks is the point I’m trying to make here… I really want you to hold that concept in your heart because the eye mask I’m about to recommend is the best of the best and as a result you will have to pay best of the best prices. Macks Dreamweaver Contoured Sleep Mask
uh… apparently best of the best prices for eye masks is $4. I’m going to say some words here about why these eye masks are my favorite, but they cost under $4 so I’m having a hard time imagining why you wouldn’t just think “shut up already, I’ll buy the stupid eye mask”.
Bullet points about why this eye mask is the best:
- Doesn’t push on your eyeballs
- Accommodates all head sizes 
- Allows minimal or no light sneaking in from the corners
- Stays in place
- Folds up small
- Comes with free ear plugs 
- Costs four god damn dollars
This sounds like a low bar, but I can’t believe how many years I spent trying to find an eye mask that meets these requirements. The free ones from airlines don’t fit if your head is creepily large, they let light sneak in around the edges, and definitely push on your eyeballs. Hey guess what: pushing on your eyeballs sounds like something in a horror movie. The main miracle behind Macks Dreamweaver Countered Sleep Mask is that bit about “contoured”. Instead of just mushing some fabric or half-assed mini pillow on top of your eyeballs, Macks shaped their eye mask to rest on your forehead/ cheek bones and and then poof out so it doesn’t touch your eyeballs because OH GOD NOTHING SHOULD TOUCH EYEBALLS. Ignore this recommendation only if you are super into things pushing on your eyeballs. I’m surprised how many people complain that they can’t sleep on planes, but haven’t tried to do anything about it. You can do a lot just by getting this eye mask (plus included ear plugs). Do a lot.
Alright pillow fans, you haven’t been forgotten. I’m just going to put it out there: travel pillows are weird. Those neck things that people drag around? Those exist and maybe make people happy. The pillow that I recommend is also pretty strange. Check it out: Kuhi Comfort Travel Pillow yep… it looks kinda weird. I love it though, here are some more bullet points:
- Wall Street Journal Recommended 
- Weird shape means that you can always find a way to smush it into a comfortable spot
- Travel case has enough space for your sweet new Macks eye mask and ear plugs and whatever else you need
- Travel case also slides over rolling luggage handle, attaches to your bag, or whatever I don’t know how you live your life
I wish there were more facts, specs, and bullet points that I could throw at you here but honestly, this brown-ass pillow is just the only travel pillow I’ve found that I can always get comfortable with. Sometimes I even lay on it when I’m not traveling.
But… It costs $40, is brown , and looks unusual. The eye mask? I am already mad at you for not owning the eye mask. Buy that glorious four dollar eye mask. This pillow? I’m in love with it. If you take a lot of red eyes then you already know how much extra sleep quality is worth on the road. Either you know how much value this would add to your life and want to try it asap or you don’t want to spend $40 on a travel pillow. It’s cool we can be friends.
Sweet Sweet Drugs
Wow, when I was a consultant and did regular red eyes from NYC <-> London, Ambien was my best friend. It is a life saver. But it also requires a prescription and you kinda sorta start hallucinating if you don’t go to sleep immediately after taking it. So even though Ambien is great, I would rather recommend something unequivocally. The recommendation is just lil ol melatonin. Specifically these ones: Finest Nutrition Melatonin
It’s a magic pill that dissolves on your tongue, helps you fall and stay asleep, and doesn’t make you too horribly groggy when it is time to wake up. It is also natural ! No prescription, super cheap, convenient for travel, and effective. What fun words! And they are all applicable!
What are you expecting here? Buy all the things, have all the things, and then use all the things. Get all that sleep. Make travel easier. Have a dope life. Concluded.
yes pillow nerds, that includes a travel pillow recommendation. So you can stop emailing, calling, and waiting outside of my building with your harassment. Insignificant.info never has and never will be anti-pillow ↩
Credit for this discovery actually goes to my sister who just randomly gifted me these eye masks and didn’t say anything about them. Big win ↩
god, why do I have such a freakishly large head. I’m a monster ↩
cool! You can totally ignore the section above! ↩
I actually heard about this through Gabe. You probably don’t know Gabe but he is a good shit. He heard about it from the WSJ. Gabe, the WSJ, and I are all right about this pillow ↩
wow. Now it isn’t even just a travel pillow. It can just be a pillow pillow ↩
or animal print? Who the hell is designing this thing. The one I bought is blue which is great but that color no longer seems to exist and I’m pretty sure that is your fault ↩
I mean, it is pretty hilarious but maybe not always the best idea ↩
I don’t care that it is natural. Cyanide is natural. Lead poisoning is natural ↩