Disclaimer: This whole post is written directed towards guys shaving their faces which is completely sexist and awful because ladies also exist and shave and might be interested in shaving products. I’ve heard that plenty of ladies use and appreciate Harry’s products and that is excellent. If I were a better person I would have gone back through and edited everything in here to make it more gender neutral. That didn’t happen. So, on that note, I’ll try to make up for my flagrant worthlessness by at least making the captions and footnotes targeted to both dudes and dude babes. Uh… there might not be that many footnotes and captions though. End Disclaimer. No more disclaiming here.
Hey, you’ve heard about Harry’s, yeah? They heard that disrupting things is the cool new thing to do, so they decided that the shaving world needed a little more internet in it. Poof. Harry’s. Now you can buy razor blades online for far cheaper than what you would pay in a store for Gillette or Schick AKA Wilkinson Sword .
So, I don’t know, if you want to buy Harry’s razors go ahead and do that. The handles are super nice compared to the ridiculous crap that other companies put out. Their blades are… fine? Here is my review of Harry’s razors: Sometimes I have hair growing out of my face. I use a Harry’s razor. Whenever that happens I do not have hair on my face anymore.
So, basically, the razors do what they are supposed to do and that is great. Buy them if you want. They are affordable! What I want to talk about is Harry’s shave cream. Now here we have some delightful shit. It has all sorts of oils like coconut, marula, eucalyptus, and peppermint for you not to give a shit about. It also has some extracts that aren’t even worth mentioning. God ingredients are boring. I like it because it makes shaving feel great. It costs $8. I used foaming gels before and was woo-ed into thinking that the convenience of not lathering was worth the trade offs. It isn’t. Foaming gels are a joke.
With Harry’s shave cream you actually have to rub it on your face. Steep price, I know. But I love the result. My face? Moisturized. My shaving exeperience? Glide-y.
Actually is there even anything more to say about shaving cream ? I don’t think there is. Here is my pitch then: Harry’s Shave Cream makes the shaving experience better. It is better because the razor glides across your face more smoothly and cuts through all your stupid facial hair with less tugging or other unpleasantness. It is better because my face feels better afterwards and my face likes that. It is also better because moisturizing.
But, honestly, a lot of this better is happening just because the bar isn’t that high right now. You probably aren’t that in love with whatever shaving cream type product you use or don’t use now. The fact that Harry’s Shave Cream is actually good enough to mention to anyone already makes it outstanding in the shaving cream category.
So that is that. We can be done here. Wait, actually, we can’t be done because you know what is also dope? Harry’s aftershave. It is dope. Very dope. Every time I use it I think back to all the times that I shaved and then didn’t put on aftershave… like some sort of animal! One that shaves! AND THEN DOESN’T PUT ON AFTERSHAVE! It makes your face smell like man face but then leaves your skin all soft and youthful. Wait. That would technically leave you with man-boy face. That definitely isn’t right. Forget all the man-boy face talk. Harry’s aftershave makes your face awesome. So awesome that you will actually use it unlike whatever other aftershave you may have purchased and then left in a drawer somewhere because it was pointless. What I’m trying to say is it only costs $10 so if you want aftershave (or free shipping)… this exists.
And finally, here is the sad part. Harry’s started making a foaming shave gel. It looks super sexy in its slim cool bottle . It was supposed to be great. It is totally mediocre. If you aren’t willing to rub shave cream into your face then the foaming shave gel was made for you. But God is punishing you for your laziness with mediocre foaming shave gel. Is that really the path you want to take in this life? It isn’t. As far as you are concerned this foaming shave gel doesn’t exist because you aren’t super basic.
Yep. Schick is the North American brand for razors produced by Wilkinson Sword. I guess that name was too bad ass for the American market? Should we talk about how they used to make actual swords and now they just make gardening tools and razors because the world is way less cool? ↩
I’m starting to think that trying to include gender neutral footnotes was a stupid idea. Is it worth saying that ladies could also follow this same brilliant process? Have hair somewhere. Shave that somewhere with a Harry’s razor. No more hair there. No one is happy with this happening ↩
Not even shavING cream. No. This product is way to fancy for suffixes ↩
Or wherever you are shaving really. If you are shaving your legs then I guess get ready for lots of leg rubbing. If you are shaving your… uh… wait, I’m not really ready to talk about nether regions on this site. Use your imagination about where this might be applicable. No. NO. I take that back. I don’t want YOU thinking about nether regions while on this site either. Just don’t think about anything. STOP ↩
What about shave cream? Does that lack of an -ing make this more interesting? ↩
Can never have too much moisturizing ↩
oh god, do people use aftershave on other parts of their bodies? Ladies, I’m definitely not accusing you of having man-boy legs ↩
hey there sailor ↩
If you decide to dive in and try the full Harry’s experience, then definitely note that the shave sets don’t require you to get the stupid foaming shave gel. When you select your set it lets you pick the infinitely superior shave cream. There are also coupon codes all over the internet so might as well use one of those ↩